Worth the review?

Has a review ever become who you are? Even just for a minute sitting looking at your phone the day after your performance, has there ever been a moment where your sense of self was consumed entirely by the words you were reading about yourself? It has for me, and I think I need to air it out. The trouble with reviews doesn’t lie in the act of reviewing, but in how we choose to internalize the review itself; like they give meaning to our craft we otherwise wouldn’t find. People are entitled to their opinions but we must ask the question, when did those opinions start meaning something more than exactly that, an opinion. When were the authority cards given out to a select few?  What has made their opinion carry such a weight that it  could cripple your belief in yourself? Before I go any further, this will not be a discussion on why reviews are bad or why they don’t matter. I gladly invite you all to examine the hypocrisy of me writing an entry about reviews while a review is the first thing you see when you enter my website. Reviews serve as an important stepping-stone to reach new audiences and encourage people to see shows. It's wonderful that we have people in our community willing to write and share their feelings about the work we do as artists. However I would like to examine the degree to which these feelings should be internalized. 

This examination begins with a question: how ready are you to brush off the good but validate the bad? Looking at that opinion of your latest work, do the good words really hold value? Do you find yourself skimming through the kind sentiments, and rereading the not-so-kind ones? If so, don’t believe that this is inherently bad. I think this practice stems from a desire to better our craft. but if that were it, we would only need to read it once or twice. Once we get to our third, fourth, fifth time through, it is time to reexamine our purpose in re-reading . Maybe even time to realize that those words shared about you no longer are affecting your belief in your art but now have begun to affect your belief of self. As a writer, I am finding my own voice. I had a conversation with my mom about what it means to be writing from this newfound vulnerable place and she told me that to write means to develop a tough exterior. To view opinions as the person behind them, and all that influences them in their day to day lives. Just as you have insecurities, they have insecurities; just as you have anxieties in your field, so do they. We need to see reviews as the human being behind them a little more. It wasn’t just your performance that informed that review, but also everything that person is and is going through, which further shows the importance of being able to suss-out the stuff to keep and the stuff to let go. 

Not everything said or written about your needs to have influence on your craft. One of my teachers encourages developing a team of people that you trust to provide commentary in a way that  actually resonates with you. It’s important  to consider this very team and also to ask yourself if their feedback has ever been too nice, too comforting. Feedback, whether good or bad, should not prevent you from maintaining your artistic integrity. If you invite a review into your network of productive commentary, it should be a conscious decision. Getting to a point of conscientious decision making doesn’t come easy, especially in a world where we are susceptible to excessive media exposure and are able to receive all that commentary instantly. Since this exposure is inevitable, we need to look inward, asking what we are allowing to have power over us. What we are looking at here, is our strength of character. Accepting that what forms character is not the opinions of others but rather the opinion of myself is something I have struggled with throughout my own development. It is key to the survival of any career, but a young career especially. 

So what do we do about it? Stop reviews? Stop reading them? I don’t think that’s it. The artist’s development is key here: to establish yourself to a point where you have the utmost belief in yourself. As we focus on growing our talent and potential, we must spend an equal amount of time, if not more, growing a strong sense of character. Right along with developing your technical skill comes the development of something internal. Responsibility also lies with our mentors to encourage a strong sense of character throughout our development as artists, and to not just focus on growing a talent.  When I got my first real review, I was not emotionally prepared for how it would factor into my self-worth . Being told  after the fact to “just ignore them” also didn’t undo the damage already done. I implore my young colleagues to value your worth as a person above all. Knowing your worth as a person means more than the words of anyone will inspire your artistic self to believe that as well. Be kind to yourselves, and your art will be a product of that kindness. No words can eclipse that.